Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Fat Bastard

                     Fat Bastard
  "I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now if you excuse me, there's someone I need to get in touch with and forgive: myself," 
after which he passes wind. 

        Austin Powers in Goldmember  & 

             The Spy who Shagged Me 

Two of my Favorite Movies .

An immensely obese (weighing in at a metric ton) henchman hailing from Scotland, Fat Bastard served Douglas Powers in his quest to defeat Austin and conquer the World. He is noted for his foul temper, his frequently breaking wind, and his unusual eating habits, namely a taste for babies (and anything that looks like a baby, e.g. midgets). He once tried to refuse Dr. Evil's money for his services in exchange for eating Mini-Me. (A commonly repeated quote is him saying to Mini-Me "I'm bigger than you, I'm higher in the food chain! Get in ma belly!") He was also seen singing the Chili's song.(I want my baby back, baby back, etc.) 

                                                                     ( LMAO ~ )
Obviously given his weight Fat Bastard is neither physically or mentally fit. As well as the fact he might have stool problems. Note in "The Spy Who Shagged Me, Austin makes the statement, "Fat Bastard left a floater"; this could point to obvious signs his health is failing at best. 


  • "First things first: WHERE'S YOUR SHITTER?! I've got a turtle head poking out!"
  • "I'm bigger than you, I'm higher in the food chain! GET IN MAH BELLY!"
  • "Jesus Christ, this diaper's making my nuts rub together ... it's gonna start a FIRE!!"
  • "(looking in the toilet) What the ... I DIDN'T HAVE ANY CORN!!!!"
  • "I just hope my wire-fightin' team is readyyyyyyy!!"
  • "I ATE A BABY!!!!!"
  • "Suck my balls....NOW!!!!!"
  • "Oh! Right in the mummy-daddy button!"
  • "Hey, diaper lady. Here's mah diaper. (laughs) I think I pinched one off too soon. (sniffs mawashi) Oh, aye. I left a rosebud in there for ya."
  • "I'm dead sexy!"
  • "Oh great! Now it smells like someone took a shit in a pine tree!" (scene deleated, can be heard on the Spy Who Shagged Me DVD)

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